OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS:
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS:
Never calls itself a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS:
Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.
GALLUP VIRUS:
Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin or error).
TEXAS VIRUS:
Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
ELVIS VIRUS:
Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self-destructs --only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.
STAR TREK VIRUS:
Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
O.J. VIRUS:
It claims that it did not, could not and would not delete two of your files and vows to find the virus that did it.
ROYAL MAIL VIRUS:
It would have infected you if it hadn't gotten lost transferring to your hard disk.
BILL CLINTON 96 VIRUS:
This virus will say anything to you to get into your computer. But once you let it in, does anything it wants to. It has been known to lie and cheat on its mother board. You know your computer has this virus when your screen turns white and spells out water.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS:
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS:
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS:
Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
AIRLINE VIRUS:
You're in Heathrow, but your data is in Singapore.
FREUDIAN VIRUS:
Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
POLICE VIRUS:
It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense."
